Musings of a Prodigal Son - Your Moment

Many of us waste so much of our time. Sometimes it would be great if we could live life in reverse. What I mean is to be able to see  life from the wisdom of years and experience. To be able to know the consequences of wrong choices (sin) and to choose differently as a result. Time, unfortunately, is not something that can be bought or gained. Many famous people have spent their lives searching for a way to buy time in one way or another (examples: fountain of youth, time travel, ways to bend the time-space continuum). The Bible often speaks to the importance of time.

I wrote recently in one of my blogs about a friend whose wife told him that what he was really asking for was a "do over." Unfortunately, life does not come with a rewind or reset button. Yesterday is history and so it shall remain. Today is all we have. One thing is sure. I have one less day today than I did yesterday. As has often been said, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is all we have." How do we make the most of this MOMENT in time (our today)?

I think we can find guidance in God's Word from someone who probably spent a great amount of time wishing he had many "do overs." That someone is found in the Book of Judges in God's Word and his name is Samson.

Samson was given many gifts, not the least of which was his great strength. He was a mighty warrior. We are told of his exploits which even included killing a lion with his bare hands. He was a Nazerite (consecrated or separated) which during that time meant that his life was dedicated to God and he was to live his life accordingly. One of the things that was required of him was that he was "never to get a haircut". Herein lies one of life's great lessons:

"If you hang around the barbershop, you will eventually end up getting a haircut." 

So it was with Samson. If you are disobedient long enough, your sin will find you out. As a result you, and usually others, will suffer because of it. I will not go into great detail about the story of Samson and Delilah other than to say that he lost many things, including his great strength. He spent many years in the prisons of the Philistines. He was blind and probably spent many hours thinking about all the things that "could and should" have been. He could have accomplished so much with his life.

I have met very few people in my life who have few regrets. Most I know would change a thing or two (usually more) if they could. But I have good news. God is a God of redemption. This word literally means, "to buy back." It means that God is timeless and He is always  the God of the moment (the "I AM" [notice present tense]). As long as we are in this world, our purpose plan (our moment) is still possible. When Samson stopped looking at what could have been and turned to God and asked that He (God) be glorified with what remained of his life, his moment arrived. He killed more Philistines in his death than he did the whole of his life while he was operating in his gifts!

I know.....He died. Remember life is a fleeting, passing journey. At its longest, it is still very brief.  I believe that those who have placed their faith and trust in Christ have a barometer that wants their journey to mean something regardless of how long or short that journey may be. We want to leave a legacy of being able to fulfill God's purpose for our lives which often extends beyond decisions we make along the way whether good or bad (see Romans 8:28). It is "the final curtain" that makes the difference. Paul, at the conclusion of his life stated, "I have finished the course, I have kept the faith....". The moment is NOW.  The good news is that if we are still here on this earth, our moment still awaits us. Each new MOMENT ushers in the next. It is true that the best is yet to come!

Let each of us make the most of our "Moment" so that our impact will remain on those who ours lives touch and those who follow after us. We have an eternity to celebrate those combined moments as the people of God with a great cloud of witnesses. Jesus makes each MOMENT possible. Even the ones beyond this present world. To God be the Glory!

Musings of a Prodigal Son - Missing the Mark

While riding my bicycle this past Saturday, I had one of those "take a look at your life" moments. You know the kind I am talking about? You know the ones where you say, "I really need to take a long look at my life, I really missed that."

I had ridden almost 20 miles on a bike trail that cuts across our county. As I went past a point I had passed before, there were two young men sitting beside the trail with a brochure holder full of pamphlets and brochures. Many of you may have seen these stands in large cities at the corners where people are advertising or selling some product. These two boys happened to be a part of a religious organization that is known for going door to door "witnessing" to their beliefs. As I was approaching them on the trail, I remember thinking to myself, "I hope they don't say anything to me or try to get me to stop." That was all I thought. As I passed and they made no move to engage me in conversation, I remember feeling relieved and I moved on down the trail, forgetting about this encounter. On my return trip approximately 1 hour later, I happened by this same spot. I noticed that there were two bikes parked on the edge of the trail and a middle-age woman was introducing herself to the two young men as I passed. As I got even with the group I heard her begin to pray with them and for them while the man with her stood with his head bowed. Immediately, I was made aware that I had the wrong focus altogether. While I was worried about "me" and my morning ride, this man and woman on the trail had been willing to "let go" of their agenda to put others ahead of themselves (in this case these two young men) with a focus on the eternal instead of the temporal. Those two young men needed to hear the truth in love. I was convicted of this as I continue to ride along the trail. 

After I had passed these two young men earlier, I had not given it a second thought. Immediately the question came to my mind, "How many times have I been so busy with my own agenda that I have neglected those times when God has presented an opportunity for me to make a difference in someone else's life?"

I really missed it.

Father, forgive me for being so focused on me that I failed to see the needs of others. Please forgive me for those times of which I am aware and also for those times that I have been totally unaware of the needs of others and the prompting of your Holy Spirit because I have had the wrong focus. 

Musings of a Prodigal Son - Information Saturation

22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. (James 1:22-25)

.....we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth. (1 Corinthians 8:1)

It seems that today we live in information overload. Le me share an example.  Today I was told about people in some mountain states looking for ginseng plants to make extra money. A quick search on the internet yielded results for what to look for, where to find, problems with harvesting, and other secondary issues associated with this topic. Within a short period of time I became what in the past would have been considered an "expert" on the subject. I learned in ten minutes what would have probably taken me years and much effort to learn. Does that make me a true "harvester" of ginseng. No. There are many things about this subject that I could only learn by experiencing the whole process even though I may be very cognizant on the "facts." In this example, I now "know" about ginseng harvesting but I am still ignorant of the wisdom to make it work for me in my life the way that a resident of White County Georgia (north Georgia mountains) is able to do. Many of those residents have become "doers" of the process. Doing elicits emotions and difficulties. 

The problem with many of us Christians is that we have so much information in our world. This includes being able to "hear" great truths and facts spoken from God's Word. However, we haven't spent the necessary time building a RELATIONSHIP with God and others. Relationships begat emotions and feelings. In other words, there is no LOVE (CHARITY) without relationship. No amount of information and knowledge substitutes for relationship. 

A friend of mine visited me this week and told me about a new approach to ministry that he start in one of the churches that he formerly pastored. He stated that he asked the people in his former congregation to think and pray about something that they were passionate about and let him know. He stated that the leadership would prayfully consider these passions as a possible ministry in the church. Something unexpected happened. He stated that a man approached him from within the church and stated that he had a passion for "making flys" (fly fishing). As he considered this, it began to dawn on him that this could be a really good avenue for ministry within the church. He stated that with difficulty he was able to cast a vision to the church with this concept. They began to hold a weekly group teaching interested people in the community to "make flys" for fly fishing. Participants begin to come to the church for this group held on a weekly basis. This in turn offered people (particularly this man who had the passion for "making flies") the opportunity to "build relationships" with people in the community. As people began to take part, the church suddenly was part of the community building relationships through mutual interests. Over time, people who otherwise would not have come to church, began attending some of the "Bible" ministries as they developed relationships with people within the church through common interests. My friend has used this model to help other churches since that time to get out of their rut of isolating within themselves. The solution did not come from more information, more sermons, but through common shared interests that fostered relationships.

Much has been shared about "lifestyle evangelism". What is that? Simply put, it is our lives (committed to God) lived in the normal stream of our existence and shared with others. This should include your interests and hobbies. They can be godly too!!!!! Being and acting religious has never won anyone to Christ. However, sharing common interests and passions with people have fostered relationships that resulted in caring for them. This has lead to concern and love for them. Loving people has brought many to the truth.

Our passions, interests, and hobbies are God-given when they are surrendered to Him. They are just as much a part of the Church as all the other "godly" things that we so often associated with church. (Remember, Jesus called many of the disciples while they were involved in their interests and passions). 

Ministries from the past have often focused on getting people the right information so that they have enough "information" to make life's most important decisions ("How shall they hear without a preacher?"). In our information saturated world, it now seems prudent to stress that information without relationship often is discarded before it has time to bear any fruit. There is so much "seed" available that we are only able to receive it from a trusting hand. When the church isolates from the rest of the world, we cannot be trusted by others. If I don't know you, don't ask me to trust you. If on the other hand, I know you and spend enough time with you for you to know me (regardless of the reason), And if I have no hidden agenda and am seeking to follow my savior, trust will develop between us. 

Love and Trust are good soil in which to plant our seeds. 

Musing of a Prodigal Son - Things that Remain

¹³ Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:13-14 NIV)




Please forgive what some of you may term my "morbidity".  I was reminded a little while ago of the fragility of life. It seems that much of my life has been spent trying to build things. Not physical things (don't have the talent my dad had when it comes to building things with my hands) but other things: reputation, credibility, knowledge, expertise, leadership skills, etc....the list could go on. I'm sure you have your list too. At many of these things, I failed. With others I have had a level of "success." As I sit here though, I am reminded of the briefness of life. As has been stated all too well, "Days born of a woman are few and full of trouble." When life ends, there remains none of these things. You may say, "My reputation will live on." Really? How long? How many of us really know what kind of "reputation" our great-great-grandfather had? With each passing year as one generation blends into another, old things are forgotten. No amount of land I own, no amount of wealth that I have accumulated, no amount of education that I have attained, no amount of respect I've gleaned will matter to those who come after me. Of course mine and your loved ones can benefit from those things now but even so, they can also choose to go their own way. Even our old "home place" was once the home place of someone long forgotten. In a matter of years, you and I will become the forgotten. Even those people who have a place in "history" are often far from the real person who lived due to the magnification/diminishing of one characteristic or the other. (I know many of you have practiced the exercise of the 'retelling' of a fact on one side of the room and being passed down in whispers to the other side of the room. By the time it reaches the last person, the 'fact' is much different than it was in the beginning). It won't matter if you have a college degree, a union job, gone to the moon, 100 acres of land, three husbands, five wives, six mules, are an Auburn fan, or a red firebird! NO ONE will remember in a very short period of time.


What does matter then? Solomon, in his lengthy and I might add, more eloquent way, discussed the things I have mentioned above in a book of the Bible called Ecclesiastes. It begins with the discussion of life as a vain endeavor (vapor) and concludes with the wisest man who ever lived stating, "Fear God and keep his commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgement, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil." (Ecclesiates 12:13-14) Paul, after the coming of the Holy Spirit, when Jesus' work of redemption was completed told us that "our righteousness is as filthy rags" (Romans 3:10) .... God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)...  and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:24)


What matters is the acceptance or rejection of a gift. That gift is Jesus and his sacrifice for my sin. Will you accept that gift???


Early in my life I attended a memorial service of someone and at that service I heard something that has repeated itself in my mind many times. One of the speakers at that service said, "I have never seen a funeral coach pulling a U-Haul trailer." On that final "move" we will not be taking any of our belongings or accomplishments with us. Our destination is already fully furnished. What will your furnishings be like? ----Remember it is ALL contingent on your acceptance or rejection of the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. Nothing else EVER really remains.

Musings of a Prodigal Son - Let's Get Real

"Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes ' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil. (Matthew 5:36-37-NIV)

This passage is from the "Sermon on the Mount". It was during a time of teaching great truths that Jesus uttered these words to his disciples and followers. In a discussion of "oaths" or promises, Jesus warned against speaking oaths or making idle promises. Much has been made of idle words but not much is often spoken about the deeper meaning behind Jesus' words. We are warned in this passage of scripture not to make oaths. An oath is a binding promise. Jesus was basically saying, "Let your word be true and honest." I had the discussion with a co-worker today about the lack of truth between what people present and who they really are, even in the work place. It seems that we often have different "personas" in different circumstances. There is the "work" self, the "father" self, the "mother" self, the "home" self, and the "church" self. These are just some examples but most people have some variation of one or the other of these. Sometimes it is a subtle change and is not intended to be deceptive, it is just a way we "adapt" to the environment that we are in. Let me illustrate by an example. When someone says in the workplace, "That's a shitty situation." Everyone usually goes about their business without a second thought. But.....if you make that same statement in church.....most have a reaction as if they have never heard it before. (Many of those with a "I can't believe he would say something like that in church" look on their face might have even said something similar themselves earlier in the week, but you'd never know it by their reaction. What's the difference? Jesus spent much time talking about the fact that THOSE WHO KNOW HIM ARE THE CHURCH, wherever they are. Why the difference in our personas when we are "at Church" or around certain people? Many people who don't verbalize it have those same inconsistencies in their minds but are reluctant to share what they are really thinking with others. Most of us have some inconsistencies in the way we relate to others and even to ourselves in different circumstances. I remember on one occasion when I was a pastor, another pastor who I respect very much looked at me one day while we were laughing about something and said, "Well damn, Rodney." I was stunned. I couldn't believe my friend, the pastor, had said such a thing! He was just being congruent with who he is. In other words, he is not perfect (BUT HIS SAVIOR IS). The imperfections in our own character are often what points to our need of the Savior. Those imperfections and the confession that Jesus forgives us and is our righteousness is also what draws many people to Christ. They, too, need him. Jesus was saying, [my interpretation] "Be real. Be who you are and ask me to help with the inconsistencies. Don't hide them.  Let your yes be yes, even to you. Don't sanction something with my name that you may be wrong about [you don't have the authority] but be real. If you had it all together on your own, I would not have had to die for you. I love you anyway and will forgive you for what you do that is wrong if you'll just confess those things that I reveal to you. Be real. You're not going to be perfect this side of eternity. Don't project it yourself and don't expect it of others."

Let me share something with you that I can speak about because I have been in the position of Pastor and I have also spent a great deal of time in "the private sector" as an employee. God wants us to be honest and congruent. Even if our congruency is not always correct, it is helpful. Why? Because often the world is more congruent than the Church. At least they are consistent in their inconsistency. I remember a youth years ago when I was a youth pastor who was "unchurched", unlike many of the kids who were in the group. He cussed. Alot. I remember cringing when we were playing volleyball and he would say, "F**k." The point is, the young man was being congruent with who he was (he hadn't had time yet to learn to "hide" all the non-acceptable things[to learn to hide these things is not good].. Am I condoning Christians using "dirty words?" No. Jesus is still my Savior if I say, "F**K" a thousand times a day, however. I am just stating that none of us can change what we are NOT honest about. We don't just become "perfect" in this present world when we ask Jesus to save us. Sanctification is a process. It is significant to me that we are to be the light of world, which means we should spend a good bit of our time "shining" in the world (among those who don't know Christ-with our albeit imperfect light).  The only way I know what is wrong for me  is by  the Holy Spirit convicting me of what I am doing that is wrong. Even when I "know", I will still be imperfect in my relationships with others.  If we as Christians are successful in "hiding" our sins at church but allowing them to be seen in other contexts, that makes it difficult for the new believer to hear the Holy Spirit bringing conviction, because after all, other Christians are doing things that the Holy Spirit is convicting them is wrong. Hence we often see what I will refer to as "Behavioral Christianity" (sort of the same concept of Pavlov and His dog) for those of you who took introductory psychology in college. It would probably be beneficial if my brother who is searching for the TRUTH knows that I am convicted about a certain behavior and am trying to stop it because the Lord convicted me of it. It is not beneficial for me to say, "F**K" at work and then not say it on Sunday morning when I go to church. It confuses the seeker. That communicates that I am practicing "Behavioral Christianity [like the Pharisees].". Often people refer to people within the church as hypocrites due to non-congruence in the way church people behave in different circumstances, in dishonest communications, or a dishonest attitude. We shouldn't "put on" our best behavior when we meet as the Church of Jesus Christ. We should never be a Chameleon. Rather, we should be honest with one another and with ourselves, even crudely, so that we can change what needs to be changed and support one another in the changes that need to be made. In other words, if we are not careful, we are so busy trying to make ourselves look good to others that we miss the opportunity to be honest and congruent (as transparent as possible) so that others who need to know Christ can see that they are not alone in their need for a Savior. I have had people I work with tell me the following: (because now I ask), "The church is the most difficult place for me to be honest." Why is this true? This is the total opposite of the way that God wants it to be. Where did we miss it?

Over a century ago, Charles Shelton penned a book entitled, "In His Steps." It is now a Christian Classic and has been re-written by his son in contemporary language so that this generation can benefit from its great message. A homeless, destitute man came into the main "First [substitute your denomination here]Church of a city and walked to the front of the church and confronted the congregation about their ignorance of his plight although he had interacted with many of them previously. He [the destitute man] was honest. He subsequently died and the book's main plot outlines the effect of his death on various members of that congregation. The famous statement, "What would Jesus Do?" comes from this book. I mention this in the context of the things that I have written about above to drive home a point about our concept of  Church. Are we so busy supporting the reputation and projecting the image that we think we are supposed to be projecting that we lose sight of the words of Jesus? Let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no.  Honesty and congruence, even when it doesn't put us in the best light and makes things look "messy," changes things. Seek to be honest and congruent with yourself and others. This is often the difference between religion and spirituality. Spirituality is about relationship, honesty, and congruence. Religion is about form, projection, and distance between the individual and God. Religion reminds us of our distance from God and attempts in futility to reach Him. Spirituality reminds all of us how close HE really is. Honesty and congruence of character are spiritual. Think about the impact of times when you have been in church and someone you respect as a Christian gets honest about something they have been convicted of by the Holy Spirit that they are STRUGGLING to overcome. It is rare but when it happens it causes many people to examine themselves in light of their Savior and it also gives freedom to those who may not know HIM to also examine themselves. When we present ourselves as we really are, we magnify HIM [Jesus].......After all, isn't that our true purpose?

JUST AS I AM without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bid me come to thee, Oh Lamb of God I come, I come.......

Are you coming everyday AS YOU ARE?

Musings of a Prodigal Son - Living in the Present, Looking to the Future, Overcoming the Past

I haven't posted in awhile (a little over a month) but I want to write briefly today on a subject that has recently been on my heart. As many of you know, I have been going through what I will call a "restoration" period. I am not seeking to "lead" people at this point in my life, I am merely seeking to listen to My Father as He helps me to "be still and know that I am God." I have written much about my past in previous blogs and will continue to do so as I feel the Holy Spirit leading me to do so. I want to reflect on some recent revelations that are impacting my life and by sharing may be of some use to you. It goes without saying that all of us have a past, present, and a future (which has yet to be revealed but that exists in this realm or the one to come). The object of life it seems is to make the most of our PRESENT. It is the only thing that we have the power to truly live in. Our past is our past. We can go through the process of regret, serious contemplation about the decisions we have made, but we cannot change any of it. All that we can do is "make peace" with it by listening to God, accepting his forgiveness, and forgiving ourselves. We can also learn from our mistakes and help others who may be struggling with some of the same issues that we have struggled with in our past. Many people also live with worries about the future. How am I going to make it? What can I do about this upcoming problem? Where can I go to have peace? These are all questions that result from trying to "live" in the future. A point needs to be made here, living in the present does not excuse us from planning for the future but once we have prepared everything within our power to face the future, we must trust it to God. We cannot plan for every eventuality or circumstance. Jesus said, "Consider the lilies of the field, how they {fret or worry-my paraphrase} yet your heavenly father clothes them with great beauty. How much more will he meet your needs?" This scripture is often quoted in one translation or another to address the issue of worry and fretfulness. As a substance abuse counselor in one of my former careers, I heard someone who struggled with addiction once say [forgive the language here but it is so correct], "If I keep one foot in yesterday (the past), and one foot in tomorrow (the future), then I'll end up pissing all over today (the present)." This is so accurate. The present is where God does His work in us. It is where changes are made that affect our future and the future of others who we touch with our lives.


I have recently been reading Chuck Swindoll's book on the life of Moses. (his "great lives of the Bible" series is great if you haven't read any of those books). I love the fact that much of the old testament is devoted to the lives of great men and women of faith as well as those who aligned themselves as the enemies of God. Moses was one of those great men of faith but we are allowed to see his flaws. Why? Because we all have them. Chuck Swindoll said in his book, "Moses spent the first 40 years of his life thinking he was somebody, the second 40 years of his life thinking he was a nobody, and the third 40 years of his life learning what God can do with a nobody." I don't know about you but that encourages me. I am a little over 40....a little (laugh). Not that most of us will live to be 120 years old like Moses, but he was 80 years old when God gave him the "burning bush experience" and even then he was reluctant to surrender to one of the greatest missions in the history of the world. But....God (in his great Love) helped him get to the place of greatness.....The only thing required of Moses was obedience. We are called to obey God in the present......the rest is His business. Sounds simple doesn't it? Why don't we do it? What has God called you to do? Are you obedient to Him daily? Have you told Him you want to be obedient? Have you asked Him to speak to you because you want to know what He wants you to do? You may not see the "whole" picture of the future but God promises to let you know what to do NEXT. Has he already told you and you didn't like it or thought it was too difficult? Did you rationalize with your mind that it doesn't make sense to you? Are you willing to do the NEXT thing so that the thing after can be revealed? Join me in asking God to reveal to you what to do NOW. Remember, simple decisions made NOW have far reaching consequences on the yet to be revealed future.

Musings of a Prodigal Son - Restoration (continued)

It is significant to me that it was the Holy Spirit that she was attracted to and not me. She was going out with me because she was seeking to be obedient to Him not because I was irresistible (lol). I was a little nervous leading up to our date. I dropped by her office at the end of the work day on Monday. We were to leave from the VA to our date in downtown Miami. I had made reservations at a nice Italian place on the Bay. We arrived there at approximately 5pm. The restaurant was very nice and our table overlooked the Bay. This was no McDonalds. Waiters with manicured hands who all looked the same served our evening meal. We began talking. The time got away from us and we realized at about 10pm that we had talked (and eaten) for over 5 hours. We talked about our lives what led us to where we are and had a genuinely open discussion about many different issues. It is significant to me that while we talked, we even saw dolphins jumping in the bay. It was a truly romantic setting. At around 10pm, she discovered the time and we both began the drive to her home. My thinking was that we had such a good time I felt very confident that we could do it again so I asked on the way if she would like to go out again. She replied, "We'll see." What? We were engrossed in conversation for 5 hours and I get a "we'll see" at the request of another date. I really did not know what to think. I've heard of playing hard to get but this was really strange. After I took her home, she leaned over kissed me ON MY FOREHEAD and said, "I had a really good time." She then proceded to jump out of the car and went into her house. This all happened so quickly, I didn't have time to say anything. So...I drove home wondering if I had said something or done something that scared her away. Tuesday morning I arrived to work as on other days and didn't hear from her that morning. At lunch, I went by her office and our conversation was as if we had not been on a date the previous evening. As the week was drawing to a conclusion, I asked her if she would like to go out on Friday. She replied that she would. So we went out again. I really enjoyed our conversations and her company. As time went on we went out more and more but I could tell that she kept me at a distance for awhile. After each date, I got the proverbial "peck" on the forehead. I didn't know it at the time but it would be months before she would even really kiss me. We talked at length about everything. Our past mistakes, the things we missed, the things we struggled with, etc...Early on, as we began dating, I attended church with her regularly. During this time, we became involved with a mid-week prayer group from the church that was very good. We were ministered to by others and we also ministered to others. Even during this time, God's plan of restoration was taking place. The church, were Michelle had been going prior to our knowing each other was one of the largest Hispanic churches in the US (if not the largest). There were thousands there on Sunday morning services with one service being in English and the others in Spanish. As Michelle and I continued to date, I realized that I loved her company. Not only was my Love growing for her but she was also my friend. I found that even though we came from totally different places, with totally different backgrounds, we had the same primary goals. We both love God and want to serve Him at our core. I had gotten away from this simple life focus for so many years but God was ministering to me through this wonderful lady who was helping me to "reconnect" with my Father. I was beginning the journey Home. God is so faithful and loving. Not only was he ministering through others to help me come home, he was preparing a wonderful person to share the journey with me. I DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS. I HAD MADE THE WRONG CHOICES. My favorite verse has always been Romans 8:28 "For all things work together for good for those who love God to them who are called according to the purpose." (This was embroidered on a blanket and given to me by the church that I once served on my 5th year anniversary as their pastor---I still have and treasure it). The restoration of my life by God is a testament to his greatness and the truth of this verse. As we dated over the next year, I found myself loving her more every day. She was also very good to my two youngest daughters and she cared for them a lot. She also asked about my oldest daughter very often (though she was an adult now, living in Alabama, with children of her own). We prayed for my three girls and her son often. Of course we also prayed and continue to pray that our grandchildren will be mighty people of God. We have continued to pray that our grandchildren will burn with a desire to know Jesus more and more each day. Parents, this is of vital importance. Many of us are here today because of praying mothers, fathers, and/or grandparents. Don't forget this important truth as we progress through this narrative. Prayer does change things and is not limited to the life time of the person praying. Back to my story, as Michelle and I continued to date, with love growing inside us for each other, we began to discuss the subject of marriage. We had both previously been in long-term marriages that had failed. I had been in two marriages and had failed for different reasons. I did not want to "fail" again. There is the impact on any children involved (my three daughters had suffered greatly as had Michelle's son), often regardless of age but especially young children that have not reached independent status. There is also the impact of starting over and feeling alone to handle life's pressures. It takes time to build trust, establish identities within relationships, and to deal with the insecurities that inevitably transfer from one relationship into another due to unmet needs. For any of you that have been through a divorce, the impact on all involved is staggering. There is no way to convey all the far reaching consequences of a life choice where two people, who's lives are connected in so many ways, make a choice to "disconnect" and live separate lives. The pain caused, often in unexpected places, is mind-boggling. This is why God says that divorce is not good and even in circumstances where God "allowed" it, He said it was due to "the hardness of our hearts." Sin is labeled as Sin due to the pain it causes God and others. This in no way diminishes the forgiveness that comes to those who experience divorce if they seek forgiveness. I am just stressing this so that those of us who have experienced it can appeal to others who haven't experienced the pain that divorce brings the importance of making the right choices, doing the right things, in the beginning of a relationship in order to minimize the possibility of this pain inducing sin from occurring. Otherwise, though God forgives, there are always consequences and pain as a result. Those of you who have been through divorce know exactly what I am stressing here. Those of you whose parents divorced and who have felt the sting of divorce know what I am referring to as well. Remember, the Bible says that we should walk "circumspectly" (looking around) for the days are evil." I am truly convinced that Satan's greatest assaults are against the family which, if successful, can destroy the church.  I do want to stress something important, however. I do not believe that God wants a person to stay in an abusive relationship just to "stay married." Abuse is wrong and there are many cases where divorce was the only option for someone who was abused or their children were abused. That is different. What I will stress, however, is that we should be very careful who we get involved with in the beginning. The only way to prevent getting involved with a "counterfeit" person is to spend time getting to know what is authentically good. If you want a person who is going to be good to you, spend enough time WITH GOD to be able to recognize the good. It is significant to me that is the way authorities train their personnel to recognize counterfeit money. They expose them to large quantities of the real thing. If you spend enough time with what is good, you will be able to recognize what is counterfeit (bad). (to be continued)