Monday, November 9, 2015

Musings of a Prodigal Son - Restoration (continued)


It is significant to me that it was the Holy Spirit that she was attracted to and not me. She was going out with me because she was seeking to be obedient to Him not because I was irresistible (lol). I was a little nervous leading up to our date. I dropped by her office at the end of the work day on Monday. We were to leave from the VA to our date in downtown Miami. I had made reservations at a nice Italian place on the Bay. We arrived there at approximately 5pm. The restaurant was very nice and our table overlooked the Bay. This was no McDonalds. Waiters with manicured hands who all looked the same served our evening meal. We began talking. The time got away from us and we realized at about 10pm that we had talked (and eaten) for over 5 hours. We talked about our lives what led us to where we are and had a genuinely open discussion about many different issues. It is significant to me that while we talked, we even saw dolphins jumping in the bay. It was a truly romantic setting. At around 10pm, she discovered the time and we both began the drive to her home. My thinking was that we had such a good time I felt very confident that we could do it again so I asked on the way if she would like to go out again. She replied, "We'll see." What? We were engrossed in conversation for 5 hours and I get a "we'll see" at the request of another date. I really did not know what to think. I've heard of playing hard to get but this was really strange. After I took her home, she leaned over kissed me ON MY FOREHEAD and said, "I had a really good time." She then proceded to jump out of the car and went into her house. This all happened so quickly, I didn't have time to say anything. So...I drove home wondering if I had said something or done something that scared her away. Tuesday morning I arrived to work as on other days and didn't hear from her that morning. At lunch, I went by her office and our conversation was as if we had not been on a date the previous evening. As the week was drawing to a conclusion, I asked her if she would like to go out on Friday. She replied that she would. So we went out again. I really enjoyed our conversations and her company. As time went on we went out more and more but I could tell that she kept me at a distance for awhile. After each date, I got the proverbial "peck" on the forehead. I didn't know it at the time but it would be months before she would even really kiss me. We talked at length about everything. Our past mistakes, the things we missed, the things we struggled with, etc...Early on, as we began dating, I attended church with her regularly. During this time, we became involved with a mid-week prayer group from the church that was very good. We were ministered to by others and we also ministered to others. Even during this time, God's plan of restoration was taking place. The church, were Michelle had been going prior to our knowing each other was one of the largest Hispanic churches in the US (if not the largest). There were thousands there on Sunday morning services with one service being in English and the others in Spanish. As Michelle and I continued to date, I realized that I loved her company. Not only was my Love growing for her but she was also my friend. I found that even though we came from totally different places, with totally different backgrounds, we had the same primary goals. We both love God and want to serve Him at our core. I had gotten away from this simple life focus for so many years but God was ministering to me through this wonderful lady who was helping me to "reconnect" with my Father. I was beginning the journey Home. God is so faithful and loving. Not only was he ministering through others to help me come home, he was preparing a wonderful person to share the journey with me. I DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS. I HAD MADE THE WRONG CHOICES. My favorite verse has always been Romans 8:28 "For all things work together for good for those who love God to them who are called according to the purpose." (This was embroidered on a blanket and given to me by the church that I once served on my 5th year anniversary as their pastor---I still have and treasure it). The restoration of my life by God is a testament to his greatness and the truth of this verse. As we dated over the next year, I found myself loving her more every day. She was also very good to my two youngest daughters and she cared for them a lot. She also asked about my oldest daughter very often (though she was an adult now, living in Alabama, with children of her own). We prayed for my three girls and her son often. Of course we also prayed and continue to pray that our grandchildren will be mighty people of God. We have continued to pray that our grandchildren will burn with a desire to know Jesus more and more each day. Parents, this is of vital importance. Many of us are here today because of praying mothers, fathers, and/or grandparents. Don't forget this important truth as we progress through this narrative. Prayer does change things and is not limited to the life time of the person praying. Back to my story, as Michelle and I continued to date, with love growing inside us for each other, we began to discuss the subject of marriage. We had both previously been in long-term marriages that had failed. I had been in two marriages and had failed for different reasons. I did not want to "fail" again. There is the impact on any children involved (my three daughters had suffered greatly as had Michelle's son), often regardless of age but especially young children that have not reached independent status. There is also the impact of starting over and feeling alone to handle life's pressures. It takes time to build trust, establish identities within relationships, and to deal with the insecurities that inevitably transfer from one relationship into another due to unmet needs. For any of you that have been through a divorce, the impact on all involved is staggering. There is no way to convey all the far reaching consequences of a life choice where two people, who's lives are connected in so many ways, make a choice to "disconnect" and live separate lives. The pain caused, often in unexpected places, is mind-boggling. This is why God says that divorce is not good and even in circumstances where God "allowed" it, He said it was due to "the hardness of our hearts." Sin is labeled as Sin due to the pain it causes God and others. This in no way diminishes the forgiveness that comes to those who experience divorce if they seek forgiveness. I am just stressing this so that those of us who have experienced it can appeal to others who haven't experienced the pain that divorce brings the importance of making the right choices, doing the right things, in the beginning of a relationship in order to minimize the possibility of this pain inducing sin from occurring. Otherwise, though God forgives, there are always consequences and pain as a result. Those of you who have been through divorce know exactly what I am stressing here. Those of you whose parents divorced and who have felt the sting of divorce know what I am referring to as well. Remember, the Bible says that we should walk "circumspectly" (looking around) for the days are evil." I am truly convinced that Satan's greatest assaults are against the family which, if successful, can destroy the church.  I do want to stress something important, however. I do not believe that God wants a person to stay in an abusive relationship just to "stay married." Abuse is wrong and there are many cases where divorce was the only option for someone who was abused or their children were abused. That is different. What I will stress, however, is that we should be very careful who we get involved with in the beginning. The only way to prevent getting involved with a "counterfeit" person is to spend time getting to know what is authentically good. If you want a person who is going to be good to you, spend enough time WITH GOD to be able to recognize the good. It is significant to me that is the way authorities train their personnel to recognize counterfeit money. They expose them to large quantities of the real thing. If you spend enough time with what is good, you will be able to recognize what is counterfeit (bad). (to be continued)