Musings of a Prodigal Son - Memories

This entry may seem a little strange to some. It is only me rambling about my thoughts. No outline. No lesson. Just thoughts. I was blessed to spend time with my wife last week to celebrate our anniversary. She arranges at least one cruise a year for us if possible and I am more than glad to come along. This particular cruise was interesting because of Hurricane Irma. We left approximately one week before so there was no way to know that Irma would become the monster that it became. Our seven-day cruise became an eleven-day cruise. We were blessed to be out of the storms path as we went south and west of the storm and once it had passed came around behind it (there is a sermon in there somewhere?) As I said, we were blessed. Calm seas. I could not help but think that although we were out of the storms reach, so many were affected directly by it. Many lost their homes in the Florida Keys.

One man's blessing is often accompanied by another man's trial. So it is with life.

One thing that comes out of these unexpected blessings is often time to think, to ponder over one's life and go over things. Feel some of the pains of past regrets, smile at some of the remembrances of people and circumstances, frown at others. It is a time to see yourself from the "third" person point of view.

Please permit me to add a disclaimer here. I have been blessed with a wife who loves me and whom I love very much. I am thankful that I have time to have the thoughts that prompt what I write here today due to the peace she helps foster in my life. And before I make another statement let me just clarify that "I know whom I have believed and know that He is able to keep that which I have committed to Him against that day." Now that my disclaimer is done, let me continue my musings,

September --I think about this time often and it is a bittersweet time of year for me. Around this time of year, 20 years ago, I lost a friend. I also married Michelle during this week four years ago. My oldest daughter was born  during this week as well 29 years ago.  When my friend passed away 20 years ago, I also lost alot of my theology. Highs and Lows. The theology and belief system I had up until the time that my friend passed away was not working for me. I missed something along the way. When I think about it from hind sight, maybe I expected too much. Maybe I expected too little. Maybe I was only looking at the "short game" when I should have been focusing on the "long" one. I knew these things at that time in my mind but I guess that it took time for my heart to catch up. It is amazing to think that God helped me to help others during that time of my life. I helped many to sort out their own "stones" while dropping many of my own rocks on my feet.

This week, as I thought about many things, I missed alot of people who I haven't spent alot of time with in years, realizing once again that life is a series of brief encounters that are fleeting and slip past us swiftly. The encounters we have with others today means much in the grand scheme of things. Lasting memories are made, lives are influenced and made a little different by that interaction.

I have shared previously in another blog that life is short. As Solomon referred to it as a "vapor" (here today gone tomorrow). The life expectancy for a male living today who is 50 years of age (which I am by the way) is 79. That means on average, someone my age may live to be 79. Some less, some more. That means that most of my life has already been lived. Only 29 more years to go to meet the average. That's not long and for some of you that are older, I'm told time tends to speed up even more. Last time I checked, I was on the "front" side of life---but here I am on the "backside" in a flash. Some of you also need to check cause you were sitting in a desk next to me at school!

What I remember the most are the intimate conversations. Not sexual but intimate. That moment when my vulnerability and honest need meets yours. That moment when the person that God created me to be meets that person that God created you to be. Those times when all the vices of this world and the enemy of this world are stripped away. Sometimes that vulnerability is brought about by pain and sometimes by joy. Oftentimes, it has happened in bouts of uncontrolled laughter. That could be fishing by a lake, swimming in a pool, playing basketball in someone's yard, after a church service, in a parking lot, and myriad other places. Sounds almost sexual doesn't it? I'm not talking about relationships between just husbands and wives but relationships between friends and others whom God allowed in our lives at that moment. Nothing inappropriate or lewd---intimacy that mirrors the love and understanding of God! Those are the memories that make me long to see so many of you.