As I was contemplating, I thought of things that we seem to realize in our 50s:
1)Disappointment is a part of life. This is a big one. Disappointment comes in different forms. There are those disappointments that result from expecting something from someone else only to find that the expectation was not met. There is also the disappointment we feel in ourselves for things that we wanted to accomplish but did not. Maybe our life is not where we thought it would be. Or maybe, we haven't fulfilled what we believe to be our primary purpose in life. Most of us at one time or another have studied the "stages" of Development that make up our psyche. Erik Erickson coined the stages of development and described this time as a time of Generativity Vs. Stagnation. It is the time in life where most of us have a desire to leave a legacy. As we progress through this time, we either feel that we are accomplishing this or that our life has no lasting meaning once we are gone from this present world. Our children learning from us and remembering us becomes increasingly important. We long to pass something of value on to someone else (not temporal but eternal). We discover, to varying degrees, that we are not where we expected to be 20 years ago. Our impact has been diminished by life experiences. Graduaally, hopefully, we move into acceptance of our faults and see ourselves as God sees us, (human beings that he created to fellowship with him not only in this realm but the one to come. He didn't come to save perfect people but imperfect ones, of which we all are).
2)What we "Do" Becomes Less Important. The first part of our lives in comsumed by the desire to "do" something. Our identify is often tied to what we "do." Our jobs and careers define us. Whether we are a CEO, a Factory Worker, A Physician, A Nurse, An Electrician, etc. (you name it), we feel much of our identify is tied to what we do. When we meet someone, often the first question that comes to mind after introductions is, "What do you do?" We define so much by what we do. Remember when we were small children and our focus was on being instead of doing. We didn't have an identity of "doing" but were simply all "students" or "kids". Life was a day to day occurance. As we moved into adulthood our focus shifted. We started spending more time with others who understand what we "do." It is important to note that the Bible has always taught us to never focus on what we "do", but rather who we "are." In this life stage, we are getting back to that. We are starting to focus more on what we "are" instead of what we "do"/ Isn't it amazing that the Bible is often silent about what people do. We know that Paul had a skill as a tentmaker but no time is mentioned discussing this. Relationships are the key. So it is with this time in our lives, we are moving back into the life phase where relationships are of primary importance. It is noteworthy to me that I miss many of my childhood friends more than I ever have in my life. Some have even gone to be with the Lord. Others live far away. Those relationships, which took a back seat for a time in my life, have once again emerged as of primary importance.
3)Life is Becoming A Shorter Event. Remember in our teens when we thought we would live forever. Remember a time when death was only thought about at funerals or when we had a "close call." I know there are exceptions to this as many people face life-threatenind illnesses at a young age but for most of us, we see ourselves as "bulletproof." In our 50s, we begin to experience many things that remind us that we are "wearing out." Our bodies begin to ache. The odometer of our life begins to read "tuneup needed".Many of our children are grown and it begins to dawn on us that "we are next in line" to leave this world. Many of us have parents that have passed away and we feel that we are "next in the cue." The years begin to shorten. Those of our generation begin to pass away. Life is looking more fragile.
4)Eternal Things Become Much More Important. The old hymns we used to sing become much more relevant and important. Being able to see life as a continuation and not an end becomes of primary importance. The fragile nature of life and it's short duration are more of a reality than they were even 10 years ago. If people havent' already accepted Christ and asked for forgiveness of their sins, if the desire to do so is there, it becomes increasingly important to respond. This is often the time when through the grace of God, people who have not trusted him "give up" trying to do things themselves and turn to him for forgiveness and restoration. Trust becomes a necessity and not a luxury.
5)Opinions of Others and Faking Become Unimportant. Our reputation is so important for most of us in our young lives. At this time however, we realize that our reputation is not the important thing in life. Rather, our "realness" is. We are becoming increasingly less concerned about what people think and more concerned about what God thinks. If God holds the key to eternity (and he does), what he knows about us is far more important than what people think. If we know Christ, God thinks we are wonderful. He sees HIs Son. If we don't know Christ, no matter how good our reputation is, we are not pleasing to God. Jesus and knowing Him begins to "feel" like the most important thing in life. He always has been but it begins to "feel" that way.
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