Musings of a Prodigal Son - Hunger and Thirst

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled. (Matthew 5:6) 

 Here I am sitting alone out on the terrace of a cliff house on one of the most beautiful islands in the world. As I look at the Aegean Sea and small vessels below, I am reminded that I should be at peace in these most peaceful of surroundings. But I am not. It comes to me while I am sitting here that I need to look at why I am not. As I reflect on my life, I am aware that I have lived much of it in selfishness. I have accomplished many of the things that I set out to do but somehow missed the most important things. I reached for the good instead of the best. I invested in myself instead of others. I ministered to many others while leaving those closest to me (my family) to languish. I've lived most of my life knowing in my heart that the things of God were often the exact opposite of what my mind could rationalize but taking the rational path anyway only to come to the end of some practical path to discover that it did not lead to my created purpose. There is a reason why the life of faith is often thought of and referred to as "the road less traveled." A life of faith is often fraught with misunderstandings and opinions that are contrary to the rational mind. It is the life of the obedient person who obeys without asking "why." A Life of Destiny is the belief in the promises of God as they are stated in His Word without thought that they seem unreasonable. However, the more I learn the harder it becomes to walk in faith. My experience has been contrary to simple obedience. Life often teaches me the opposite lesson instead of the lesson of faith. If life confirmed faith, it would no longer be faith but experience. The more "learned"I become, the harder I become.The more equipment I carry up the side of the mountain, the harder it becomes to just let go. The one consolation that I have is the fact that I am not content. It shows me that my heart has been changed by my creator. Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, gives us a new birth at salvation. I'll never be content doing things "rationally" or the "normal" way. I shouldn't expect to be. My citizenship is in heaven. Why do I keep taking the citizenship test to try to fit in this foreign land (world)? I don't want to reach the end of my earthly life feeling like I missed my destiny in this world. I would like to hear the words, "Well done they good and faithful servant, you have fulfilled your destiny in Christ." I don't want to arrive in glory with the moniker, "Even though you didn't fulfill your destiny and had the power through Christ to do so, enter into my glory on the basis of my Dear Son. However, be aware that your destiny on earth must needs be fulfilled by someone else who utilized their new relationship in Christ to the fullest." Many of you can remember how you did not want to disappoint your loving parents by disobeying them. I don't want to disappoint my heavenly Father by disobeying Him. Please Pray for Me.